


Doubles

by Phantje



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Comfort/Angst, Cute, Day Dreaming, Doubles, Filming, First Kiss, Getting Together, Jack&Dean, Jealousy, M/M, Phan Fluff, angsty (just a tad), avoiding, danisnotonfire - Freeform, live show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 12:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8055955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantje/pseuds/Phantje
Summary: Dan and Phil have guests in their home for filming a sketch with Jack and Dean called "Doubles". Even though Dan loves filimg stuff with all his heart, he would much rather not have this many people in their home. Without meaning to, Dan gets jealous and has trouble hiding it. Phil however does not notice because he himself finds himself fighting jealousy. He tries distracting himself with a live show but when the whole crew leaves eventually he has a hard time forgetting, which results in a bitter comments towards Dan. Dan breaks down and Phil knows he has to act swiftly to save their firendship from crumbling. 
(I still work on writing summaries and on a sensible tagging. Bear with me!)





	Doubles

When they first heard that Jack and Dean wanted to make a video with them called “Doubles” Dan and Phil’s reactions had been quite different. Phil had been very excited to be part of a clever and interesting idea whereas Dan was about to shout: “P*** doubles?!” before he thought better of it. It was ridiculous of him to even think that Jack and Dean would plan something even remotely similar to videos of scaringly similar doubles of Dan and Phil kissing passionately. Having a persuasive audience Dan had not been able to avoid stumbling upon one of the videos. He had surely been shocked watching them. He knew perfectly well that the videos could not be real, as, whereas Dan was up to re-enacting the scenes in the videos, he was positive that Phil, who had to play the other part, who never consent to anything like that. So, stopping himself from shouting an immature reaction also saved Dan from having an inevitable discussion with Phil, where he would have probably made matters worse with trying to come up with an explanation, Dan was really good at screwing things up that could have gone smoothly.  
Even though Dan hadn’t said anything, he still felt a little weird thinking about filming a video under that title but he tried his best to ignore it. Just for the sake of not shooting gazes to Phil that no one should see, of course not the person in question but also no one else as Dan happily escaped questioning conversation with his friends. After having read the script to the little sketch it was clear that Jack and Dean weren’t even remotely touching the sensitive topic, or at least what Dan would classify as a sensitive topic for Phil, for instance. But as they weren’t even in the same field Dan was able to act as if he was completely fine with the whole situation. Which he was, apart from the fact that his imagination ran wild constantly and the fact that he had to clean the house for all the guests that they would have to welcome for shooting the video. Phil was helping of course but for the sake of not giving his mind too much to think about Dan tried to work in different areas than Phil.  
“Are you alright?” Phil asked quietly. Dan hadn’t even noticed that he came inside, he was pushing the table so that everything was symmetrical, in his eyes the only acceptable way of arranging furniture.  
“Sure.” Dan said and slowly turned around.  
“You have been quite distant. Don’t you want to film this? I’m sure Jack and Dean would understand.” Phil said and sounded concerned.  
“I’m fine.” Dan said and smiled genuinely.  
“You sure?” Phil asked. “We haven’t spoken a lot today.”  
“Phil! We had a house to clean!” Dan said, he was not annoyed by Phil but he found it rather hard to endure Phil’s caring ways when nothing was wrong with him.  
“I’m sorry.” Phil said.  
“No, you don’t have to be.”  
“Should I take it back?” Phil asked confused.  
“Yeah do that and we’ll start this conversation over again.” Dan said and laughed.  
Phil nodded and backed out of the room. Dan took a deep breath and waited for Phil to come back in. Dan jumped a little when Phil came back as Phil slid into the room, crushing into Dan.  
“How are you?” Phil asked enthusiastically.  
Dan grabbed his arm to steady him and laughed. “I am fine, you turnip.”  
Phil laughed, quickly threw his arms around Dan and squeezed him.  
“I’m sorry. I’ll be happy for the rest of the day.” Dan said, not sure if he could keep that promise as he might turn quite salty. He hoped he wouldn’t and expressing a promise could help him preventing that.  
After the short hug Dan was relatively high spirited and grinned genuinely when he heard the doorbell and went to open it. At that time he did not know how much time the filming would actually consume. It was an awful lot of fun the whole way through even though Dan had to bite down some nasty remarks towards the end of about seven hours of filming, remarks that were usually aimed at completely innocent people and that were triggered only because Dan was incredibly sensitive that day. When someone mentioned them leaving soon, Dan found himself genuinely smiling for more than a split second again and he realised that he shouldn’t have been too quick in making a promise that he would be happy for the rest of the day.  
When the cameras were put back into their bags Dan realised how exhausted he truly was. He wasn’t used to having so many people around. If he would have to choose he would always choose Phil over his other friends. He actually preferred being alone with Phil, than being with anyone else. Being alone with him also had the positive effect that Dan had Phil’s full attention. Dan wasn’t usually that selfish and attention seeking with his friends but with Phil it had always been different. Since Dan knew Phil it had always been an honour for Dan to be the one that was there to laugh about Phil’s jokes. Right now with all those people around it wasn’t Dan that was laughing about Phil’s jokes but the other ones. Dan liked them all but not if it meant that he couldn’t listen to Phil’s jokes and laugh about them. Dan felt miserable being pushed to the corner of the room, literally, but one needs to add that Dan chose this place himself so the actual seating position was entirely his fault. The same could not be said about the feelings the others send out to him, or so to say the feelings he thought the others send out to him.  
While thinking this Dan realised how stupid he had been earlier that day literally running away from Phil simply out of the fear that the longing the dreams made him feel would become too much for him. This, so Dan figured, was the fair punishment for being so silly earlier. However Dan decided to punish himself a little further and spoke to Dean, this wasn’t a proper punishment but it wasn’t what Dan primarily wanted to do so it counted as making up for his earlier mistakes, by the way not thinking about what Dan really wanted to do was best, probably. Especially for Phil’s well-being, not that Dan wanted to hurt him in a way but it would surely unsettle Phil if the longing part of him became dominant.  
Even though Dan was quite miserable and was convinced to be the only one in the whole wide world who had to suffer under loneliness, he certainly wasn’t the only one, not even the only one in the room that felt this way. The other person with similar feelings was the last person Dan would have thought it to be, it was Phil, to be exact. He tried to hide it but on the inside he felt alone as well. Okay, perhaps not alone but he definitely felt the lack of having Dan around. Well, Dan was still around in a way but he was always talking to Jack or Dean or any other member of their crew, certainly not to Phil. Phil hated himself for being this jealous. This whole arrangement was for nothing more than a day after all and yet it was enough to make Phil a little grumpy. Luckily Phil wasn’t a person that spit at people at least not at those who he didn’t consider close friends. He did spit at Dan from time to time, something, which never felt great; at least never once it was over. These situations also had the nasty habit of jumping back into Phil’s mind when he needed it the least. For instance right now he suddenly remembered a few of the occasions where he hadn’t been friendly with Dan and he felt bad for them, really bad. His consciousness surely wanted him to pay for his past mistakes. Why else would Dan talking to Dean already make his blood coil?  
Due to all these sentiments Phil extremely relieved when he could excuse himself to speak to his internet audience, it was time for one of his live shows. In a way those were a little similar to talking to Dan, his fans obviously never were able to give full answers. That was why the live shows never lived up to a conversation with Dan but it was similar enough and at the same time an excuse to not talk to the others.  
While starting his laptop Phil briefly wondered if he could stay in the room to have his live show but he quickly neglected the thought, it was too noisy in the room, Phil couldn’t even hear his own thoughts so having something close to a conversation with a couple thousands of people was unthinkable. Phil knew he had to leave to have a proper conversation with his audience, so he did. He stood up and walked towards the door. He shot a quick glance over to Dan but he was still talking to Dean and not noticing him. Phil sighed internally and left after talking to Jack for a couple of seconds. Due to the lack of tidiness in his room Phil decided to continue his live show in the kitchen, he had started in the living room, trying to be as on point as possible, some of his audience members were quite picky about the time he started his live shows.  
“Here we are at least.” Phil said. Not being surrounded by next to any noise had a calming effect on Phil, even though he was still quite sad for not having Dan around. The worst that could happen at that moment would have been his audience noticing so Phil quickly distracted himself with a “deep” conversation with his audience. They should neither see how tired he was nor how disappointed he was in himself and even in Dan for not being around. As he didn’t know how he felt himself, he had no clue what he wanted others to see. The best was surely to not let them see any sad feelings, Phil was after all a happy person people turned to, when they felt sad. Him actually being the sad one for a change wouldn’t work out too well, he feared, so he quickly tried to let all emotions wash off his face.  
Phil talked as enthusiastically as possible about possible game ideas for the “Dan vs Phil” on their radio show the next evening. Like that he did think about Dan but in a relaxed manner so that was alright and completely leaving out Dan would trigger questions as well. So you can say that Phil did choose a good thing to talk about.  
After a couple of minutes in the kitchen Phil had to change his position once again. He sat down in the hallway to charge his laptop. He was still talking about the “Dan vs Phil” as Dan suddenly stepped out into the hallway. Phil was extremely relieved to see Dan. He urged him to sit down next to him and told him enthusiastically what he had been talking about so far. He hoped no one would notice that he was much more alive since Dan had joined him. He wasn’t sure himself what that meant or where those kinds of thoughts even came from. For the moment it had to be enough to know that he was happy with Dan next to him, that was a completely normal thing to think, right? Even though Phil was aware of the fact that they were being watched by about 10 thousand people he knew that he had to embrace the moment he had with Dan.  
“Bit noisy in there, isn’t it?” Phil asked and smiled.  
“Yes. They just won’t leave!” Dan whispered and made a suffering face before smiling brightly again people that didn’t know Dan would have said it was a genuine smile but Phil knew better. He shot an apologetic smile towards Dan for he knew just how much Dan hated his regular life to be intruded by strangers, even if these strangers were their creative friends.  
Dan and Phil talked about the “Dan vs Phil” for a little while longer.  
“Someone suggested “twerking”.” Phil told Dan, trying to hide his confusion.  
“Let’s not do that.” Dan said and shook his head.  
“I don’t even know what it is. All I know is that you wiggle your butt in the air.” Phil said gesturing something with his hands.  
“If that’s all you know that is all you need to know about “twerking”.” Dan said and Phil started smiling. Not as broadly as he wanted to. Being who he was had told him to always think about actions, no matter how small before actually doing them. Having Dan around made it all ten times more important. Their fans were the most supportive but probably also the one with the best grades in their English classes for always interpreting every. Single. Thing. Literally, they interpreted everything into any small thing Dan and him did, it was best to be safe than sorry, even though being safe in this case left you feeling sorry from time to time. Wanting to nudge Dan encouragingly and not being able to was certainly a thing Phil felt sorry for a lot of times.  
After discussing the matter of “twerking” Phil proposed to go back into the kitchen. Phil wasn’t fond of leaving his snuggled up position with Dan in the hallway but in the kitchen they would probably have a bit more privacy, in regard to no noise from their friends. How much privacy one had with 10 thousand people watching was another question. Phil had carefully chosen the word “privacy” in contrast to “intimacy” because… Dan and him were friends, right? Yes, nothing but friends, perhaps good friends, or best friends but friends nevertheless. Phil simply needed that thought to stick in his head.  
“I want to drink something.” Phil announced and handed Dan the responsibility or so to say, his computer. While Dan filmed him, Phil made some Ribena, messing it up at the beginning. And that was to say something, making Ribena included nothing but pouring juice and water into a glass, perhaps taking care not to make it too sweet but it certainly wasn’t complicated and messing it up really meant that Phil was having troubles with his head. Something of his clumsiness could be written over to him being distracted by Dan, standing right in front of him, Quite close. Something, which surely wasn’t helping Phil, who already had trouble acting decently due to Dan already being constantly present in his thoughts.  
Phil finished his drink while Dan tried his best to deliver some funny angle shots of Phil to the internet. He usually tried to that when he was in control of things. It was a way of him trying to find something not beautiful in Phil’s face. Sadly Dan did not manage to find anything not beautiful let alone ugly in Phil’s face. No matter how close he got, how weird he tilted his friend’s computer, nothing worked to make Phil look less like an angel. Not that Dan was too surprised. Angels simply couldn’t look bad, could they?  
“You are giving me all the worst angles.” Phil stated while taking a sip of his drink.  
“That was what I was trying to do.” Dan said honestly, ignorant about what his words caused within Phil. It hadn’t exactly been the words though. It had been the way Dan had said it that had caused Phil’s stomach to flip over. Dan’s voice had been incredibly soft and hearing it like that had made Phil realise how fortunate he was to be able to listen to that beautiful voice each day. It would be even better if he could listen to the voice saying something else but Phil really mustn’t think about that.  
“Thanks.” Phil mumbled but he wasn’t sure whether Dan had heard it.  
After a few minutes of talking to their audience while sitting on the kitchen floor Phil was finally feeling like his normal self again. At least he did until Jack walked into the room asked something which caused Dan to stand up. Only a few seconds later Dan came back, stepped over Phil’s computer and quite literally pushed his crotch into Phil’s face. Phil had not the faintest idea what he was trying to achieve by doing so apart from some really awful screenshots that would occur on the internet for the rest of their lives.  
Phil tried to say something witty in response to Dan’s actions but judging by the fact that Dan left shortly afterwards, he didn’t manage. Phil spent the rest of the live show with a friend and Jack playing stupid games on the kitchen floor. The whole time he tried his best not to miss Dan. He had been the one to leave him which made Phil feel like he had done something wrong. Why else would Dan leave if Phil hadn’t done something to upset him in some kind of way.  
Phil was far too occupied by trying to not miss Dan that there was no room in his mind for the option that Dan might miss him as well. He did actually. Dan missed Phil quite a lot but as he had been the one who left and the one who was far too proud to take back an action like that there was nothing Dan could do to make himself feel better.  
Dan sighed and helped their friends with packing their stuff together. There were quite a few lights that had to be packed away and brought to their car, parking in the streets. Dan was still up to punishing himself for the mistakes he made, or rather making him pay for them. The newest version of doing so was running the flights of stairs leading to their apartment up and down to help get all the technical things out of their home into the car. The whole time Dan feared that he might fail to make it seem like he wasn’t happy that they were leaving but as he had been a good host for the past eight hours he didn’t feel too bad for doing so now and he honestly doubted anyone could see the happy glint in his eyes as his whole face was squinted together in exhaustion, well Phil certainly could but as Dan was once again trying to avoid him, there was no fear there. While Dan caught his breath at the bottom of the stairs he realised that he had been apart from Phil for an unnatural amount of time. And that was all Dan’s own fault, a lovely thought.  
Dan took a deep breath and climbed the stairs leading to their living room. Phil had finished with his live show and was now standing with the back to Dan, hovered over his laptop, transferring footage of the filming. They were alone in the room for a split second and Dan wanted to say something but he lost that moment with taking a deep breath and trying not to think about Phil who was unaware of it and yet clearly showing off his good side, so to say his whole body.  
“Nearly finished here!” Dean called out and let himself fall onto the couch.  
“Good job.” Phil said warmly and turned around, an action which already made Dan jealous beyond words.  
“What is left to do?” Dan asked and in fear of sounding too much like he wanted them to leave, which he did, he added: “Should I help get something down?”  
“Sure, there is this one bag, give me a hand and were out of here.” Dean said and smiled. Dan knew that Dean probably knew that he really wanted them to leave.  
“Good.” Dan said as seriously as he could but Dean started laughing and Dan’s façade broke apart as well.  
“Why are you laughing? Shouldn’t you be working hard?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Dan should. I shouldn’t.” Dean said and closed his eyes.  
“Right. Dan, give me a hand?” Jack asked.  
“You just gonna let him get what he wants?” Dan asked and went over to Jack.  
“There is no use in delaying this with arguing with Dean.” Jack shrugged.  
“Perhaps I should try that method myself.” Dan said and laughed.  
“You certainly shouldn’t.” Phil mumbled so that Dan only understood him with great effort. Before he could reply something to that Jack walked out of the room and as Dan was holding the other end of the bag he was pulled out of the room with him.  
“Where are you heading to now?” Dan asked while walking down the stairs.  
“Home.” Jack said.  
“Are you going to work on the footage already?” Dan asked.  
“No! That is going to take some days and Dean wants to go on holiday. So do I. Sorry, for not uploading it any time soon.”  
“There is nothing to be sorry for, it is your project we were very happy to help with acting out parts of it but the rest is completely up to you.” Dan said. “I think you’ll do an amazing job.”  
“Thank you.” Jack said.  
“I am being honest!” Dan said and sighed.  
“I know.” Jack laughed.  
“Do you really need to torture me right now?” Dan asked despairingly.  
“What do you mean? I’m not the one torturing you.”  
“What do you mean?” Dan asked and stopped.  
“Sorry Dan. It was quite obvious that you went through a not so pleasant time today.”  
“And whose fault is that?” Dan asked with a glint of mischief in his eyes.  
“Yours.” Jack said not joining Dan in his joke.  
“Pardon?”  
“I don’t know any details but you looked like, and you still do, like you need some sorting out.”  
“But how?”  
“I have no idea. It is already a bit too much for me to tell me you need sorting out.” Jack said and laughed.  
“You are making matters worse!” Dan groaned. “How am I to talk to him now?”  
“Oh, so it is all about Phil, Dean and I weren’t quite sure.”  
“I beg your pardon?” Dan hissed.  
“Don’t worry, we would never tell.” Jack said and winked.  
“You are unbelievable.” Dan said. They reached the car and quickly loaded the bag inside. “Are you leaving right now or do we want to order pizza?” Dan asked while opening the door to his home, he hadn’t spoken all the way up as he tried to make up his mind whether he should show that he was sorry with a friendly gesture or if he should pretend nothing happened and wait until they left. He obviously decided to do that friendly gesture, Jack was after all clever enough to read between the lines.  
“Oh no, Dan.” Jack said while following him up some more stairs.  
“What?”  
“You can’t just push the inevitable away from you.” Jack said with a grin.  
“What on earth do you mean?” Dan asked.  
“Don’t play dumb. Keeping us here won’t do you any good. You will have to talk to him eventually.”  
“I wasn’t even thinking about tha…”  
“Yeah, tell yourself some more lies, they tend to make it worse, you know?” Jack interrupted him.  
Dan shook his head in defeat and carefully opened the living room door. Phil was sitting next to Dean, both of them on their phones.  
“Get up Dean, we’re leaving.” Jack said and jumped onto the couch.  
“What do you call that again when your words contradict your actions?” Dean asked with a sigh and stood up.  
“Already?” Phil asked and glared slightly at Dan. “Did Dan not ask you to stay?”  
Dan was about to say something but Jack was quicker: “Oh, he did. But we got things to do.”  
Dean looked confused for a bit but then he nodded and said: “True, I need to be home as soon as possible.”  
“Pity.” Phil said and smiled. “It was very nice working with you.”  
“No need to be so formal.” Dean laughed. “You’re right though, it was fun.”  
“Hopefully we’ll do it again soon.” Dan said. Jack raised an eyebrow and stopped himself from saying something. Dan grimaced and shook his head slightly.  
“Okay, we’ll get going now.” Jack said and stood up, grabbing his jacket, which was hanging over a chair. “We’ve got everything and if not we’ll get it or you can keep it.”  
“Lovely.” Dan said sarcastically. He opened the door and Jack walked out of it, closely followed by Phil, Dean and lastly Dan.  
“Have a safe journey home!” Dan said. Jack surprisingly pulled him into a hug and murmured into his ear: “Don’t you dare muck this up. He needs you and I’m personally going to kick your ass if anything changes… for the worse.” Dan sighed a little but smiled widely while saying goodbye to Dean.  
They closed the door when Jack and Dean disappeared around the corner. Dan sighed as quietly as he could and kneaded his fingers.  
Phil looked closely at Dan and decided he should speak to make sure he was still aware of their friendship. He cleared his throat and said: “Dan?”  
Dan spun around. “Shall we order pizza? The usual, I’ll go and do it.” Dan said and was already running up the stairs.  
“If my company is enough for you.” Phil mumbled bitterly. Dan didn’t seem to hear it and Phil was thankful for that. He exhaled deeply and climbed the stairs.  
In the kitchen Dan pretended to need to read the number of the pizza service even though it was next to Phil’s and his own the one he would be able to recite at any given moment, even when woken up in the dark of the night, but to be fair the person to be asking him at that time would surely get a few mean words next to the number… Dan was losing his track. He quickly dialled and placed the order.  
Then he braced himself and went into the living room. Phil was not yet in there so Dan sat down on the couch and unlocked his phone, checking what news Youtube could give him. Shortly after he sat down he heard a rumbling sound outside in the hallway and the door was opened rather violently. Dan bit down a remark as he saw that Phil was balancing several things on his arms and had opened the door with his feet, not breaking anything in that procedure was an incredible fortune, keeping Phil’s clumsiness in mind.  
Dan rose to his feet and stepped closer to Phil. “Should I help you with that?” he asked kindly.  
“That would be great.” Phil said. Dan nodded and grabbed a set of DVDs. Phil set down two glasses, a bottle of water and Ribena onto the table.  
“What is this, if I may ask?” Dan asked carefully while Phil struggled with the remotes.  
“Some company.” Phil shrugged.  
“Yours is already enough for me.” Dan said tentatively.  
“Sure.” Phil said and Dan knew he didn’t believe him. However he was too scared to keep talking so he shut up and snuggled into the cushions.  
Phil put on the television. It was left on a nature channel and Phil left it, forgetting about the film, completely drawn into by the lovely landscapes of New Zealand. Dan didn’t care what they were watching, or rather what Phil was watching, as long as he could watch Phil watching something, as creepy as it sounds. Dan loved studying Phil when the other was unaware of it. For Dan it was delightful to watch small emotions displayed on Phil’s face, emotions he was quite proud to be able to riddle out where as ordinary friends would hardly even realise that there had been a change. When Phil was completely unaware of anything Dan was confident that he could read him like an open book, whenever Phil was actually talking to him and therefore conscious about his display of emotions Dan found it really hard at times to know what Phil was thinking.  
A few minutes later Dan literally jumped when the doorbell sounded through their apartment. “I’ll get it.” Dan said quickly and got up. While walking out of the room Dan thought to hear Phil sighing a little but he couldn’t be sure and he didn’t dare turn around to check.  
After getting the pizza, paying the delivery boy and getting napkins out of the kitchen he went back into the living room, seeing Phil struggling to get the DVD player to work.  
“We don’t need to watch a film.” Dan said, having rehearsed the very sentence for a few seconds in his head to wash all the affection off it.  
“Just tell me you don’t want me to be around.” Phil said and it was the closest he came to exploding in a long time. Dan quickly sat down the pizza and took a deep breath.  
“What makes you think I wouldn’t want you to be around?” Dan said and he knew he sounded hurt.  
It was typical. Phil always screwed things up. He should have known. He should have stayed inside his room. That would have certainly been better for everyone. Phil really wanted to apologize but the information got screwed up from the brain to his mouth so he said instead: “What doesn’t?”  
“Phil, please tell me what’s wrong.” Dan pleaded. Phil hated it when Dan was pleading, how on earth could anyone expect him not to give in to that?  
“It’s nothing.” Phil said bitterly.  
“You’re not usually like this after a fun day.” Dan said and smiled carefully as Phil let himself fall down onto the couch. Phil realised then that they had switched positions, earlier he had had to comfort Dan and now it looked like Phil needed to be comforted to not let the situation get out of control.  
“You certainly had fun.” Phil mumbled, he had no clue why his mouth wouldn’t stop, the rest of his body had already accepted that he needed comfort. How else should the longing to snuggle into Dan be explained?  
“Phil!” Dan sounded shocked.  
“What?” Phil spit. He quickly bit his tongue and brushed invisible dust from his knees.  
“You looked like you were looking forward to the day.” Dan said sadly.  
“You looked like you weren’t.” Phil answered shortly.  
“I wasn’t.” Dan said truthfully.  
“And yet you did.”  
“And what is wrong with that if I may ask?” Dan tried his best to control his temper and Phil nearly burst out. On one hand because of hate for himself, he hated provoking Dan, and on the other hand of love for Dan, he tried to stay calm, for him!  
“Nothing.” Phil sighed.  
“Phil, you can talk about anything to me.” Dan said comfortingly.  
“How can I be sure you won’t tell it anyone else?”  
“What do you mean?” Dan said and he sounded angry, despite his efforts to stay calm.  
“You seem to share quite a lot joyful conversations with Dean.” Phil said. It took them both a second to realise what Phil had said, and Phil was by no means less shocked than Dan. Dan looked at him and Phil saw horrified that tears were forming in his eyes.  
“How… What did I do that your trust vanished entirely? What… Why are you so… jealous?” Dan cried out and stormed out of the room. When Phil heard Dan’s door slammed shut he broke down. Once again it took him a second that the wailing sounds he heard were coming out of his very own mouth. He covered his mouth with his hands and as that didn’t stop it he bit down on his finger. His breathing was still uneven and sobs shook his whole body. It was final: Phil was no good in human contact of any sort. He screwed up in the worst way possible. His very own bitter feelings caused Dan to cry! If there was anything Phil never wanted to happen was to make Dan cry! Phil sat there in shook and realised only when his hand started dripping that he was crying as well.  
Phil jumped up and knew he had to do something. He needed to comfort Dan, no to apologize and then let Dan himself decide whether Phil’s comfort was something he could endure. Phil had no clue how he should start this mission and another shocking burden was that he simply couldn’t stop crying. He was very exhausted and all the stored feelings broke free and turned him into a waterfall of salty human tears.  
The first thing Phil did was putting the kettle on, then he hurried into his room, nearly chocking because he tried to supress sobs. He quickly put on some comfortable clothes and then went back into the kitchen, he waited for the kettle to finish before he realised that his eyes were hurting because he was still wearing his contacts, he quickly went into the bathroom, took them out, noticed that he left his glasses in his bedroom, he took some deep breaths and then ran into his bedroom to get them. Not being able to see much due to his bad eyes and due to the curtain of tears Phil ran face forward into the open doors of his drawer. He wailed in pain: “Fortunate cupboard. Can be lucky I’m not strong enough to rip you’re door out and that I need you to store my clothes.” Phil said angrily, grabbed his glasses and hurried back into the kitchen. The kettle went off the second he entered. He took a few deep breaths and poured hot water over some teabags in two mugs. Tea could perhaps not cure anything but it could provide some comfort, for at least a few minutes. Phil waited for the tea to turn to an appropriate colour. Then he took the teabags out. He stood in front of the two steaming mugs and new he had to stop crying if he wanted this action to have any kind of success. Phil blew his nose once. Then he grabbed the mugs and went over to Dan’s room. He stood in front of the door, unsure what he actually wanted to do now.  
“Dan? May I come in?” Phil asked carefully. A muffled sound came out of the room and Phil had to take it as a sign for him to come inside.  
“Hello?” Phil asked awkwardly and gently kicked the door shut. Once again Phil received nothing but a muffled sound, he screwed up his eyes – there was no light lit in Dan’s room – and saw that that Dan hid his face in his pillows. Dan was lying fully clothed on top of his covers, on his stomach, face in his pillow as aforementioned.  
“May I sit down?” Phil asked, his glasses fogging because of the steaming mugs he was clutching in his hands.  
Dan sighed and turned around. Phil saw that his face was wet with tears. “Of course you can.” Dan said, voice cracking.  
“I made us some tea.” Phil said quietly. He waited for Dan to sit up, then he sat down himself and handed Dan the mug.  
“Thank you.” Dan said, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.  
Phil placed his mug onto Dan’s bed stand and kneaded his fingers, avoiding Dan’s eyes. “Dan, I came here to tell you something.”  
“Don’t.” Dan said and coughed to hide a sob.  
“Dan, I wanted to apologize.” Phil said softly.  
“What for?” Dan sniffed.  
“Everything, I suppose.” Phil said with a tiny voice.  
“You don’t have to.” Dan said, biting down on his lip, Phil could still hear tiny sobs quite clearly.  
“We both now I do.” Phil said.  
“Then I do too.” Dan mumbled.  
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Phil said and was shocked. “You behaved in every way I ought to have behaved.”  
“Surely not this morning!” Dan said and Phil thought he was seeing a blush on Dan’s face.  
“Everyone has that kind of feeling every now and then.”  
“I doubt you do.” Dan mumbled.  
“I do get frustrated of having to tidy something.” Phil said and chuckled.  
“Oh. Right.” Dan said and went bright red.  
“Right. You better tell me right now what is going on here.” Phil said and crossed his arms.  
“You wouldn’t want to know.” Dan mumbled and took a sip of his tea. Phil mirrored his move and they stayed silent for a while.  
“Dan, I really want you to know that I know that my behaviour earlier was unacceptable. I guess I really was enormously jealous…”  
“You, jealous. Of what?” Dan sniffed.  
“Of the attention you gave the others?” Phil asked. Dan looked at him with a shocked expression. “I know. That is a very idiotic thing but I couldn’t help it, I’m sorry.”  
“You needn’t be.”  
“What?”  
“Sorry and jealous. There is no need to be. I need to be sorry. I was jealous already only thinking about the time we would spend with others, or so to say the time you would spend happily not talking to me.”  
“How could you possibly think I would be happy doing so?” Phil asked.  
“How could you possibly think I would betray any of your secrets?” Dan asked back. Phil looked at him in shock, Dan had started to cry rather violently again.  
“Have you really been thinking about that the whole time?” he asked as gently as possible. Dan nodded weakly and Phil gave in to the urge and pulled Dan into a hug. “I was an idiot. No. I was an a… let’s say nasty person. I was jealous and angry with not being able to control myself. I did not mean what I said. I honestly did not. I mean, if that would help you.” Phil said awkwardly.  
“It does.” Dan said and clung to Phil’s shirt.  
“I will never say anything alike ever again.” Phil promised.  
“Thank you. I will never let my imagination run too wild again and let it affect my way of acting.” Dan said.  
“Was it your imagination earlier?” Phil asked softly.  
“Not just earlier.” Dan mumbled.  
“What kind of things to you dream about then?” Phil asked and loosened his grip on Dan to look at him. Dan blushed and tried to look away.  
“All kinds of things but I can’t really tell you.” Dan said.  
“How about you show me then?” Phil asked innocently.  
Dan gulped audibly and tore his gaze off Phil. It was a miracle how Phil could be so calm about this. Couldn’t he guess what he was dreaming about? Wasn’t it obvious? Who couldn’t dream about Phil when presented with several situations where he simply couldn’t do anything but imagine different results of the situations, which… lead further in Dan’s mind.  
“I’d rather not.” Dan said and smiled apologetically.  
“Pity.” Phil said and, was that a seductive smile? Dan was convinced his mind was playing a trick on him, but he asked nevertheless: “What is going on here?”  
“What do you mean?” Phil asked, still as innocent as ever.  
“Do you know what you do to me?” Dan asked with a cracking voice.  
“Hurting you?” Phil sounded sad.  
“No! This is not hurting but extremely exhausting, let me tell you.” Dan said.  
“I have no idea what you are talking about. Is this a joke?” Phil asked and sounded scared.  
“It is not for me.” Dan said seriously.  
Phil nodded but then he shook his head. “How about you try to be as honest as you are comfortable with? I need some clarification.”  
“Okay.” Dan nodded. He took a deep breath but he wasn’t sure how to start. Phil saw that Dan was struggling so he placed a hand on Dan’s knee and said: “I can start if you want. I’ll be completely honest, even now: some of this could come as a shock to you, I ask you to keep calm and simply let me finish and then you can run away if you want.” Phil said quietly.  
“You’re not going to tell me that you’re a vampire, are you?” Dan asked and laughed. Phil shook his head and laughed as well.  
“I am serious though.” Phil said.  
“Okay.” Dan said seriously.  
Phil nodded, took a deep breath and started talking with a slightly shaking voice: “I care about you.” Great, just blurt it all out, Phil. “I do. You are the best friend I ever had. I immediately get jealous when you are having fun with people. I’m awfully possessive and I hate myself for doing so. I don’t want you to not have fun with anyone but me, but I need you. Perhaps a little too much but that’s just how it is. I care about you and I could have punched myself for making you cry earlier. I can’t see you hurt in any way.” Phil finished breathlessly. “Any questions?” he asked with a weak smile.  
“Best friends?” Dan asked timidly.  
“And so much more if you would give me any sign.” Phil cried out. He clasped his hands over his mouth and looked away in shock, his body was worn out, he no longer had any control what he was saying.  
Phil heard Dan chuckle lightly but he didn’t dare to look up. Dan sighed and took Phil’s head in his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes. He then placed a small peck onto Phil’s lip. Dan smiled a wicked smile and asked softly: “Is that good enough of a sign?”  
Phil didn’t answer. He pushed Dan into his headboard and pressed his lips against Dan’s. Dan’s eyes widened before they fluttered shut. Dan had just started kissing back properly when Phil stopped as abruptly as he had started.  
“I’m sorry.” Phil said.  
“What for?” Dan asked, having trouble breathing evenly.  
“I didn’t mean to do this.”  
“No?”  
“No. Not. That. No! I didn’t mean to be so aggressive.” Phil explained.  
“You’re never aggressive. Not even in my dreams.” Dan said and quickly bit his tongue.  
“So that’s what you were dreaming about.” Phil said and grinned.  
“You have no idea!” Dan said.  
“Oh. I didn’t think I was right.”  
“Spot on, though.” Dan said with a red face.  
“You are adorable.” Phil said with a sigh.  
“And you are even more complex than I already thought you were. Do you have any idea how amazed I am by you every single second, like literally? I can’t ever spend a second without fantasising… without thinking about you. You are incredible.”  
“Don’t make me blush.”  
“It has to be your turn sometime.” Dan laughed.  
“Not now though.”  
“Why not?”  
“I know better things to do right now.” Phil said softly. He kissed Dan just as softly, climbed over him and lay down next to him. He snuggled into Dan and grabbed his hand.  
“This is a dream come true.” Dan sighed.  
“You are my dream come true.”  
“You are ridiculously cheesy.” Dan sighed. Phil simply laughed.  
After a while Phil popped himself up onto his elbows and looked at Dan: “We are good now, aren’t we?”  
As if that had been a command Dan started crying silently. He was smiling brightly, Phil returned the smile and gently brushed away a few tears and Dan broke out laughing: “Best we’ve ever been.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! A small (accidentally rather long-ish) story loosely based on this liveshow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOb0C15Omqk I hope you like it! Kudos and comments are welcome as usual! Read you soon! <3 :)


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